After 6 weeks of living abroad in Lisbon, Portugal...
I am officially back home in Nashville, Tennessee.
Talk about a culture shock.
After any vacation, it's tough to get back to real life.
It's hard leaving a place and going back to the real world. It's even more difficult to leave a place where you feel so at peace, so at home, so aligned.
I promise this isn't going to be a sad blog post... keep reading!
While I don't know what my future holds and I don't know when I will be going back to Lisbon (just kidding, I was looking at flights literally today)... I can confidently say that I was wholeheartedly meant to spend this time there. I feel like I came home a different person in the best way.
I learned, I laughed, I lost and I loved.
And most importantly I grew so much.
If you are reading this and you feel stuck in life, or you have an urge to follow a feeling... this is your sign to RUN AFTER IT. Start sprinting, baby.
Because that feeling in your soul isn't there by mistake. It's put there by God, by the universe... by whatever you believe in. I felt a calling to go back to Lisbon after my very first time visiting there in 2022. It wasn't until I turned 30 and my life kind of fell apart (not really, but I will say that for dramatic effect), that I really started listening to the calling I had. Little did I know, the reason I went to Lisbon for 6 weeks wasn't to give me all these "magical answers" I wanted... it was to teach me so much and give me exactly what I needed to confidently step foot in the next chapter of my life.
If you are reading this and you're like... "Okay, so what's next then? Stop teasing us, bish."
I don't really know what is next.
I have some ideas and I can't wait to share them with you all because the decisions I made in my 6 weeks abroad will absolutely change the trajectory of my life and I. Am. Excited!
Be patient, my little grasshoppers. I will share with you in time.
Just know that I quit things, I started things, I dove into projects headfirst, I walked blindly into the unknown, I set boundaries, I learned what I truly want from my little life.
Oh, I quit my podcast by the way.
I am going to make an official announcement but I wanted to reward those who are actually reading this (besides my mom and dad) with a little snippet of life updates! Don't worry... when one door shuts, another will open. That I am very confident in.
I won't make this blog post too long and as promised, I am also posting an official Lisbon Travel Guide with all my recommendations and favorite places! Don't think I forgot!
But I want to wrap up everything by telling you what I learned while spending my 6 weeks living in Lisbon. Mainly because when I am 75 and sitting on a front porch somewhere, scrolling the internet (assuming I will still be doing that when I am a grandma)... I want to be able to come back and read this. I want to never forget all the fun stories I get to live to tell and the lessons I learned along the way. For the mems, ya know?
- You plan... and God laughs.
Release the idea of perfection, release the idea of a carefully curated "fairytale" life and release the idea of controlling an outcome. You aren't in control, so you might as well sit back and roll with the punches, folks.
I think about all the "plans" I had when I first got to Lisbon. I was planning on going on dates, finding a steamy European romance (HA!), coming home with all my answers... Shoot, I even had a "Lisbon To Do" list in my phone.
Plot twist: none of the plans I had for myself came to fruition. Instead, I got something totally different and unexpected. I deleted all my dating apps, I focused solely on my friendships, I let go of my "list" and I just did whatever TF I wanted to do.
It wasn't what I had planned... it was ten million times better.
- The more you force something, the further you stray from your journey and where you are actually meant to be.
You might be able to force what you think you want. And it may work for a little bit. Let's be real... control feels GOOD. As humans, we are wired to thrive in a controlled environment. When things become messy, it's a natural human response to feel uncomfortable.
But eventually, you won't be able to force it anymore. There will be cracks because you are not living authentically. You aren't truly on YOUR journey. You are on the journey you think that you want.
My best example from Lisbon to support this would be when I found the dreamiest apartment (the pink bathroom place from my Instagram stories... IYKYK). I thought it was absolutely perfect when I toured it. I took my parents to go see it, I showed ALL my friends... and I fell in love with it. I NEEDED IT.
Looking back, I realized I was simply in love with the idea of finding an apartment in Lisbon.
I felt so much pressure to come home with a set of keys and foreign real estate (because hello, that would give me an answer for the people!) that I was willing it ignore some really big things like cost, visas, what was best for me in the future.
I ended up putting an offer in on the place... and last minute backed out. My intuition was screaming at me so much so, that I couldn't sleep or eat. It's almost like my gut knew that I was forcing something that wasn't right. While I was sick to my stomach for turning down the cutest apartment because what IF I never found something else? What IF I lost my opportunity? I know it happened for a reason. Because the stars aligned, y'all! They really did!
My best piece of advice: let it go. Let it flow. It all works out in the end.
- You are allowed to change your mind and constantly evolve. What you think you wanted, may not be what you need. Give yourself space and time and listen to what you authentically want, versus the opinions of others.
Point. Blank. Period.
I realized in Lisbon that I have changed so much in the span of 30 years. Specifically in the past two years. The jump from 28, to 29, to 30... whew. A doozy.
Part of me felt guilty that I want to leave Nashville and that I keep moving to different states, claiming "it's home" - only to change my mind a short time later.
But then I realized a lot of this guilt was coming from a fear of judgement from others. I was so scared to do the wrong thing, come off as "wishy washy" or inauthentic, or have those in my life judge me for constantly wanting something different.
My time in Lisbon gave me the space I needed to listen to myself. To find my voice. To realize... It's my life?!?! I can live for the approval of others (and probably be miserable) OR I can live for myself. And my journey doesn't have to look like anyone else's! Shoot, if I want to wake up tomorrow, move to space and become an astronaut... I CAN DO THAT IF I WANT TO.
- Build a community before you focus on a love life. Men come and go, but friendships will last a lifetime.
I am a firm believer that soulmates can absolutely come in the form of friendships. Society puts so much weight on romantic love and marriage... what about the love from friends? Can't they make us feel equally as fulfilled?
I met some of the best gals in Lisbon. I was able to foster genuine, authentic relationships with them and it was because I finally set aside this pressure to seek out a man and go on dates. Crazy how that works, huh.
Did I come home with a sexy Portuguese man? Absolutely not. But I came home with a community of awesome friends, people I can stay with anytime I want to fly to Lisbon and girls who will have my back through thick and thin - even if we live halfway across the world from each other.
It's funny, I got back to Nashville and felt more love than I have felt in a LONG time.
Self love >
Love from friends >>
- You can make hard decisions by yourself. If it's right... you will feel PEACE.
If you are an anxious girly, you may relate to this.
Because I suffer from anxiety, I would often ask the opinions of others to calm my brain and ease my racing thoughts. I needed to speak to others to get validation because I didn't trust myself to untangle what I wanted versus what my anxiety was telling me.
I learned quickly (after living abroad by myself and trying to purchase real estate in a foreign country with no man, no family and no friends to help me out) that I can do it on my own. In fact, the opinions of others only makes the water a little more murky. Instead, trust your gut. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is the ultimate guiding light in life. When I started to block out the noise (and stop posting on social media asking for everyone to weigh in on my life, hehe) - I started to find out what I authentically wanted. I felt at peace. That's how I knew I was on the right path.
- If you want something, just start. One step at a time. You don't need to someone to hold your hand.
Just. freaking. start.
You will never know exactly what to do. It will always be overwhelming. But if you just start chipping away... eventually all those baby steps will add up to a big LEAP.
I went to Lisbon with a crazy idea to buy an apartment and rent it out to my travel community. Sounds not complicated at all, right?
Did I know anything about opening up a Portuguese bank account? No. Do I know anything about Portuguese tax laws? Hell no. Do I still have a lot to learn before I can jump into a new business venture in a foreign country? Absolutely.
But I knew what I wanted and I knew I would rather start now and learn along the way... than look back in 5 years and wish I would have just started.
- You get what you need, not what you want.
Read that again. & again.
Don't get angry at the universe, but instead say thank you.
- You don't need anyone in order to be happy.
I decided to take a trip to Porto towards the end of my Lisbon trip. I didn't know a lot about the city, I was by myself and I had no plans. Someone had messaged me telling me to go to this epic sunset lookout spots so I popped it into my Apple maps and walked over for sunset.
The view I stumbled upon was the most enchanting view I have ever seen.
There was a hill of people, a live band (playing Red Hot Chili Pepper covers.. iconic), people dancing carefree in the streets, drinks being served and all of this was happening as the sun was setting over the river with the golden city in the background.
I legitimately got tears in my eyes when I first saw it.
Naturally, I headed straight to the bar, grabbed a white sangria and tucked myself into a spot by the bridge. Sun on my face, I turned to face all the people sitting on the hill and I was just overwhelmed by a sense of joy.
Pure freaking joy like I had NEVER experienced in my life.
And the craziest part? I was alone.
I'll never forget that moment. It was right then when I realized... I don't have to fear 'dying alone' or never meeting my person. If that happens - amazing. If not - I know I am capable of providing myself with all the joy in the world.
- Write down everything. Take photos of everything. Document every single moment.
I have over 200,000 photos on my phone. I took over 100 videos of random things while in Lisbon. I filled an entire journal, cover to cover, with my thoughts on that trip. And I am SO thankful to have my memories stored somewhere.
Yes, be present. But also, don't be scared to document your journey. Later in life, you will want to reflect back and you'll be so thankful you have all those silly memories. And don't you dare be scared to ask someone to take a photo of you!
- If you feel a certain way, pause. Give it a week and understand that uncomfortable feelings are temporary. There's growth where there is space.
Everything you feel is temporary. And guess what? You have gotten through 100% of your bad days.
There was one moment in Lisbon where I broke down crying (I think I posted this on my stories) because I was just so overwhelmed and so sad that I wasn't getting these answers I was looking forward. I remember sobbing and thinking, "WTF universe! Why do I feel like this?!"
One week later... All of those feelings had vanished.
I grew through them.
And I was okay.
It's easy to feel like it'll never get better. It's easy to get lost in a sea of emotions. But you just have to ride the wave. Nothing lasts forever.
- F*ck a timeline. You don't have to go in order.
This is coming from a 30-year-old girl who grew up in small town Texas, in a conservative, Christian household, surrounded by friends who are all married and starting families.
For the longest time, I thought I needed to follow a formula:
Graduate college, get a real job, get married, have children, get a beautiful home on some land, have a peaceful life, die. Boom, the end.
Not saying that doesn't sound lovely?!
But it isn't the ONLY way to live.
It hit me in Lisbon that I have been living the majority of my life trying to fit into "a mold" and go in order when... that's not what I want? I don't have a magic formula for how my life is supposed to look. I don't know if I want kids, I don't know if I want a big, black tie affair type of wedding and I definitely don't want to ever settle down in one place - At 30 years old, I realized... I think I may want to do it differently.
And that is okay.
Live your life for you. Because you only get to do it once.
- Before you do anything, before you talk to anyone - ask yourself, does this feel good to me?
When is the last time you paused to check in with yourself? Your needs are a top priority. If it feels good, proceed. If not, pause.
And I will leave it at that.
- When one door opens, another will always open. But you have to sometimes take the leap of faith.
It won't make sense at the time, it will feel terrifying and you will feel like nothing better will come along. But just trust that when you shut one door - you are making room for another to open.
Do it scared!
- Don't seek the answers. Seek the life lessons and those will lead you to the answers.
I remember I was walking in park one afternoon, eating gelato (pistachio to be exact) and I called my girlfriend Melina to catch up. I was stressed about my time in Lisbon coming to an end and feeling all sorts of pressure to come up with all these answers before I went back home. Answers to real estate agents, to podcast producers, to my leasing office in Nashville, to my friends and family. I was freaking out (to put it lightly). I will never forget her advice to me...
She said, "Morgan. Stop searching."
Her advice stuck with me. Stop searching for all these answers because you will never, ever find them. Instead, seek out the life lessons. You gotta go through all the 'shit' in order to learn and grow and come out the other side a better and stronger person.
If you can grow through it... you will get your answers.
- If it's meant to be... it will always be. You can't make any wrong decisions, they only lead you to exactly where you are meant to be. So sit back and enjoy the journey!
*Mic drop*
Thank you so much for reading this blog post. What a wild ride it has been and I am so happy I can share any bits and pieces of my life with you all. When I started my platform as a naive 22-year-old, fresh off reality TV - I had no idea it would lead me here. I am so proud. And so thankful.
P.S. go do something crazy. Life is short.
My last reminder for you all... You are never alone. There are so many people out there in similar situations as you, feeling the exact same way as you. The best we can do is share our stories so others feel less alone.
Until next time...
Xo,
Morgan